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November 23 Thoughts (from Fiona) Part 2* WHAT AM I afraid of? I'll tell you: a feather. That's right, a feather. How could anyone he afraid of a feather, you say. That's an honest question, and I'll try to give it an honest answer. First of all, did I say it was a poison feather? * WHEN YOU die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmm boy. * OF ALL THE warning sounds that animals make, I think the one that's the least effective on me is a kind of clicking noise. * I BET A funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while you're in midair, you still hit those brakes! Hey, better yet, try the emergency brakes! * I WISH there was a disease where you're afraid of clouds, because I think I could cure it. First you sit the patient down and have a long personal talk. After that, I'm not sure, but maybe you could throw some water in his face or something. * AS THE LIGHTS changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way. * HOW COME the dove gets to be the peace symbol? How about the pillow? It has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have that dangerous beak. * EVEN though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk about freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered they were not Indians at all, but dirty clothes hampers * IF LIFE deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)? * I WISH outer-space guys would conquer Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little basket-beds with my name on it. * I THINK Superman and Santa Claus are actually the same guy, and I'll tell you why: Both fly, both wear red, and both have a beard. October 20 Thoughts (from Fiona) Part 1* WHETHER they live in an igloo or a grass shack or a mud hut, people around the world all want the same thing: a better house!
* WHEN YOU'RE going up the stairs and you take a step, kick the other leg up high behind you to keep people from following too close. * WHEN RICK told me he was having touble with his wife, I had to laugh. Not because of what he said, but because of a joke I thought of. I told him the joke, but he didn't laugh very much. Some friend he is. * IF YOU ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. * LOVE IS not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot. * IF I WAS being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat. Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection? I thought you said 'inspection.'" They'd probably feel real bad, and maybe I could get out of it. * I'M NOT afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why? It would take about a billion ants just to aim a gun at me, let alone fire it. And you know what I'm doing while they're aiming it at me? I just sort of slip off to the side, and then suddenly run up and kick the gun out of their hands. * I BELIEVE in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex. * IF YOU'RE a blacksmith, probably the proudest day of your life is when you get your first anvil. How innocent you are, little blacksmith. to be continued.... |
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